Sunday, September 23, 2012


Before my child was diagnosed with a life threatening birth defect, I was not a Germaphobe.  I would even suggest it was a pet peeve of mine for people who were.  It annoyed me.  Then I was told that my daughters heart will never be "fixed".  That one day, she will need a transplant.  They can do 3 open heart surgeries to give her a chance to live this way.  And she will be closely monitored forever. 

The most common used word in our home these days, is "hand sanitizer", or if you are one of kids, you call it " handtizer".  I have been impressed with how well they are being about washing their hands.  This morning I was filled with so much pride as Anastasia asked for permission to rub Cecilia's head, and she followed her question with this statement " I already did handtizer on my hands".  Woah, how my life has changed so drastically.  I am proud that my children get it.  Then it hit me.  Of course they get it.  We are a family and are in this together.  She is not my baby, she is our baby.  Imagine being a 4 year old with a sister who was hospitalized for over 2 months.  Imagine meeting her and your sister is so sick that she can not breathe or eat on her own.  Imagine watching your mommy give her a lot of medicine including shots everyday.  As a passing stranger Cecilia would be normal to you.  You would not be able to tell she is sick.  If you are not living it, you may not get it.  I don't think I would be able to.  So, it's ok if you don't.  I will celebrate every day, week, month, and year.  It is a blessing.  And I have watched Cecilia fight as hard as she has had to so far, and I know that her fight is going to last her a lifetime.  So, even if you don't get it, thank you for trying.  Thank you for praying.

Because I don't know how I will go on without her in my life.   She is the best thing that ever happened to us.  She was meant to be.