Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Nurtured

I dont normally have a desire to share anything I write in my personal journals.  Today was different.   Maybe it is the non specific element in which I wrote it that I don't mind.   Maybe some random person needs to stumble upon it.  Maybe its my way of saying it out loud, to own it.  Maybe there just isn't any reason at all. Here it goes:

Now I know my true hearts desire.  For so long it's been aching but I did not understand the emptiness.   I nurtured the emptiness with my ignorance, denial, pride, and my negativity.   The way I have been cutting myself free begins with forgiveness.   Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of myself.  I am capable of trusting the Universe.  I need to make that decision over and over again because my habit of distrusting has been so burnt into my character.   My unresolved issues and grief are scar tissue that I have to work out and it is an ongoing effort.   It's hard and  sometimes it gets messy depending on which issue has my attention.  But the reward is peace and that is what I nurture now.